Screenshot from The Dirty
Part of writing this column means exposing myself to things that I want to scrub from my mind with a Brillo pad. One example is the website The Dirty where anonymous people post pictures of other people (mostly women) to be ridiculed by the “host” and website creator Nik Richie and other good natured folks who like anonymously chiming in with their two cents.
These anonymous posters are lovingly referred to as “The Dirty Army.” They are doing all of us a service by submitting photos of unsuspecting people to be objectified, humiliated or an array of other terribly negative adjectives.
Here’s an example:
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, first off love your site. This is one of my friends Niki. I think shes pretty smoking hot and her boobs are real!! Shes a wonderful person who has a career and supports only herself. Could she be your brunette? And would you?
Answer: No and No! Her body is about to blow up… Niki, real parts become fat parts as you get older.
And this website is so popular, Richie is now a millionaire.
WHY GOD, WHY?!?!?!
What’s most frightening about this website is that anyone can steal pictures of you posted on the web and say the most horrendous things about you (true or not) and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
And since it’s typically women “exposed” for being fat, potentially fat, ugly, slutty or worse – it’s mostly frightening for us.
Some women have come forward claiming that the website has ruined their life. One in particular had posted modeling pictures on her Myspace. Someone saw these pictures, stole them, and submitted them on The Dirty where she was ripped to shreds about her appearance. She says this not only destroyed her self-esteem, but also her hopes to one day be a model.
On a recent episode of Dr. Phil, Richie was brought on the show to see what he had to say for himself. Richie’s response could be summed up as, “If you put yourself out there to get attention, then you deserve whatever kind of attention you get.”
Hmmm.
Maybe. If these people submit their photos to your site directly. But alas, their pictures have been stolen off of their personal profiles and posted without their permission. I’m afraid he may be a little off base.
The majority of targets on his site seem to be the perceived “slutty” girls. Apparently it’s the ones who greedily shove themselves in front of The Girls Gone Wild cameras begging for attention. These women, obviously, need to be taken down a few notches and exposed for the ugly hags they really are.
I’m paraphrasing here.
The truth is, I checked the website today and while there is a lot of that going on (as if that makes it ok?) – there’s also girls who just seem to be having a good time with their friends. Unfortunately, it appears they also have a few enemies.
But, for the sake of this column, let’s assume that The Dirty Army only goes after the real attention getters – the straddles your boyfriend right in front of you and rips off her top – types.
Does Richie have a point? There’s no denying it – some of us try really hard to get attention. The guitar player outside the coffee shop I’m currently sitting in – wearing a flag as a cape – singing rap songs acoustic style – seems to be a prime example.
A lot of women don’t need capes. Or guitars. Or rap. They can use their sexuality.
So let’s ask questions. For the record, I don’t have the answers.
If I post a picture of myself on the web intentionally trying to look beautiful, hot or even sexy – am I doing it to receive attention? Is Facebook and other social media outlets one big lake where some of us are desperately fishing for compliments?
If this is true, then if we choose to haul our boats on this lake to catch a few boosts to our self-esteem, do we have a right to be shocked and appalled if we catch the opposite?
Celebrities know all about this. Put yourself out in the world, you’ll have lots of fans who will affirm you. You’ll also have lots of people who will say shockingly nasty things about you, too.
Has the Internet and social media, at times, given us all a little taste of celebrity? If we put ourselves out there to receive something positive, should we be shocked if receive something negative?
The truth is, there’s a lot of good in this world, but there is also a lot of evil. The anonymity of the Internet just gives evil some balls. Cowardly balls, that is.
Personally, I believe treating people like trash, whether we think they deserve it or not, is never justified. To publically and viciously attack someone in the hopes they’re destroyed by a crazed anonymous mob is about as close to evil as you can get, if you ask me.
Why? Because we all seek attention in different capacities for different reasons.
Insecurity. Loneliness. A glimpse of love. A sense of worthiness. Boredom.
We don’t have to like or agree with people’s look, lifestyle, dress, personality, politics or Facebook photos. We also don’t have to destroy them because of it.
In the end – pain, fear, sadness and wondering if we’re good enough are all things we have in common at some point in our lives.
We’re all just a bunch of freaks, really. Ultimately looking to love and be loved unconditionally, even if we don’t always go about it the best way.
Websites like The Dirty are a sobering warning for many of us. Some people won’t hesitate to hurt us. In fact, some are making millions of dollars doing it.
Going to the big lake to fish isn’t wrong, but thanks to Richie it’s now unbelievably risky.
Actually, thanks to Richie just having a Facebook profile is risky.
But does it matter? Self-worth can’t be caught anyway.
It also can’t be stolen from your online profile.
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